I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
