i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
