Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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