no. you can't hotbox the world.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
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Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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