and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Someone signed my nipple.
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