when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
