Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize