Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
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I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
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She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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