It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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