He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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