Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he quoted the bible to break up with me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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