I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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