mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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