i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
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You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
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I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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