You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
