I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
