people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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