i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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