you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize