So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
