If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize