i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
