Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
