Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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