I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize