She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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