How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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