he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
