dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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