We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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