Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
