he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
