New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
