just survived the first fart of the relationship.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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