Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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