They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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