Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day