did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
