I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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