We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
