I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
