check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Even the bartender felt bad for me
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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