how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize