When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize