How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
