To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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