Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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