What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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