Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
