i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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