The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
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Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
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Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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