how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
