My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.