Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
time to smoke my breakfast
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
