I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize