i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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